Well I know I haven't been around in a while but I will say it was because I am ashamed. Ashamed of myself because I failed!!!!!!! with a capital F.
As you know Terry lost his job.
my friend moved out so there went what she was giving us towards bills out the door.
I hit an all time low and gave in .I caved!!!!!!!
yes I have been smoking. I cry everyday!!!!! I first thought well one wont kill me. then one led to another and soon I was buying packs. I just can't believe that I let a whole year fly out the window like that.
I have tried stopping but now I can't....
my breathing is worse then ever........I stink again..............I did make a wise decision not to smoke inside the house or the van but still I can't believe i have done this to me.
I feel like a big failure!
I have come here several times.....started to type up my failure and just couldn't.
I sit here in tears now. knowing this isn't what I should be typing.
So tomorrow I go back on Chantix! Dr filled script today. Ivow this time......not to cave. I can't I wont!
More soon........
2 comments:
Tabatha, my friend, please don't beat yourself up. You do know, don't you, that I once quit for well over a year only to start again? It happens. You are human. You are a a wonderful human, but you are still human. Getting right back to quitting again will be much easier, I think, because it was so recently that you were in the habit of staying quit. Seriously, for me it has worked that way, and I bet it will for you, too.
I am always here for you. I know you can do this. Please keep me posted, OK?
Has Terry found another job yet? Things are so rough in so many places right now.
I am here if you need support! You know, we are all a cigarette away from a pack a day...I still think about "having just one when I get stressed" but I know as well as you know what happens... the Nicodemon will kick in full force!
I hope you and your husband get back on your feet soon.
Peace,
Diva
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